majnooooooooooooooooooooona

six months and few words later, his skin is still the softest thing i can imagine
especially his arms
nothing that i want to touch more

still remember the realization, sat in the back of a stuffy car driving to the border, that not only was this the last time in a while id be seeing the landscapes of the beautiful blaad, but that i was forgetting his taste already
tears in my eyes that night as i found his shirt in my case still smelt like him

six months on and hes still playing in my head like a filmstrip
still fantasizing about him, about being with him again
still checking my inbox almost first thing every morning

altho, my heart doesnt even sink anymore when i find nothing
at least most days, and im no longer stalking my phone, scared to leave it on silent
facebooking him has been limited to the customary daily sweep of the newsfeed (nothing new) and the wall ... only occasionally trawling through photos tagged

six months on, and im starting to wonder if ive made a fool of myself
there is a chance ive really not, there are many details left out here
but six months on and i still lack the perspective to work out how big a chance